well, iui #1 was a fail. boo. a couple people asked if i had heard back about the iui, but it's the same waiting game when you're trying naturally...basically i either get a positive pregnancy test or every girl's favorite friend comes to visit. so right on schedule, it was the latter. frustrating of course, but we've already moved on and decided to try another round of iui. it'll probably be scheduled in about a week and a half, so we'll keep you posted. :)
in the mean time, we survived the worst winter storm in years...6 inches of snow, ice, freezing rain, slush, another couple inches of snow, more ice and 4 days off for me! i painted, hung out with hubby and snuggled with my puppy. we only lost power for about 36 hours, but it definitely got cold in our house. we spent the night at my parents new washington house since they happened to purchase a generator. and now we're back to rain...looking forward to our next trip somewhere that sees the sun for more than a day at a time...
well, i hope everyone's new year is off to a good start and here's to lucky number 2!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
iui #1
iui=intrauterine insemination..basically they take a sample (hopefully it was luke's, like it indicated on the bottle) and inject it right into my uterus...pretty cool!
so we jumped right into treatment this month and had an iui this past wednesday. i go between having really positive feelings and really negative feelings. of the couples we know who have gone this route, we don't know any who it's actually worked out for. so that's a bummer. but i guess, you just never know...
so for the next 2 weeks, i'm remaining cautiously optimistic. because that's what my mother told me to do and at the end of the day, i know, deep down, that my mother is always right.
so we jumped right into treatment this month and had an iui this past wednesday. i go between having really positive feelings and really negative feelings. of the couples we know who have gone this route, we don't know any who it's actually worked out for. so that's a bummer. but i guess, you just never know...
so for the next 2 weeks, i'm remaining cautiously optimistic. because that's what my mother told me to do and at the end of the day, i know, deep down, that my mother is always right.
letting go..
well, since i said i was going to start blogging more, i should actually, well, blog more. so what it comes down to is...they haven't found anything "wrong". luke's good, i'm good, we're all good in the uh, fertile department. so why after 21 months of taking my temp (every morning at 6:00..yep, even on my days off), peeing on ovulation sticks (too graphic for ya?) and timing things accordingly (even more graphic? you got it!) are we still not PG?! that's the answer i had been searching for. i wanted that answer. i wanted there to be a reason so we could fix that reason and move on with this whole process. don't get me wrong, i'm ecstatic that they haven't found anything wrong. but in a way, that makes it even more frustrating. so if nothing is wrong, then why am i not holding a little one in my arms right now?
so this is where i needed to let go. to stop thinking about it all so much. much easier said than done though, let me tell ya. even when i've taken time off from charting, it's still in the back of my mind. even when we've visited with friends, and celebrated holidays, and traveled around europe, it's been on my mind...
maybe it was because we passed the year mark or more likely, the 1.5 year mark..i dont' know, it's gotten a little easier. although if you asked luke, he'll probably say this month was just as bad as month 8. i'm pretty sure month 8 was when i had to excuse myself to go cry in the bathroom when i found out i was going to be an aunt again. no doubt i was so happy for them, but it was overwhelming. that's a whole other (apologetic) blog post though. i guess the expectation was set. i don't consider myself a debbie downer, but when you see so many negatives (no pun intended), i guess you just come to expect that the next month will not be any different. and as we're approaching the 2 year mark, it's become a common feeling that this month is out too. maybe you just become numb after a while.
anyway, back to my whole point of letting things go and being more positive..i guess it comes down to this: i'm trying. i don't cry every month like i had been. i don't leave the room when someone else announces their pregnancy. i don't throw my computer out the window when i read another facebook post (ok, i never actually did that, but i came close). you see, i'm trying...
and in this "waiting period", i have my hubby and my family and my sweet denali to turn my attention to. thank you all for your support and prayers and well wishes along the way.
so this is where i needed to let go. to stop thinking about it all so much. much easier said than done though, let me tell ya. even when i've taken time off from charting, it's still in the back of my mind. even when we've visited with friends, and celebrated holidays, and traveled around europe, it's been on my mind...
maybe it was because we passed the year mark or more likely, the 1.5 year mark..i dont' know, it's gotten a little easier. although if you asked luke, he'll probably say this month was just as bad as month 8. i'm pretty sure month 8 was when i had to excuse myself to go cry in the bathroom when i found out i was going to be an aunt again. no doubt i was so happy for them, but it was overwhelming. that's a whole other (apologetic) blog post though. i guess the expectation was set. i don't consider myself a debbie downer, but when you see so many negatives (no pun intended), i guess you just come to expect that the next month will not be any different. and as we're approaching the 2 year mark, it's become a common feeling that this month is out too. maybe you just become numb after a while.
anyway, back to my whole point of letting things go and being more positive..i guess it comes down to this: i'm trying. i don't cry every month like i had been. i don't leave the room when someone else announces their pregnancy. i don't throw my computer out the window when i read another facebook post (ok, i never actually did that, but i came close). you see, i'm trying...
and in this "waiting period", i have my hubby and my family and my sweet denali to turn my attention to. thank you all for your support and prayers and well wishes along the way.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
a new year...
so it's a(nother) new year...where did 2011 go?! i swear, the older i get, the faster the years seem to go. this year in particular just flew by. i decided i would like to stay the age 30. it sounds cool. 31 doesn't seem as exciting to me. i guess part of me wants to take 2011 back. take my year 30 back.
don't get me wrong, i have some awesome memories from last year. an amazing trip to europe. celebrating a milestone birthday. seeing my college girls for a crazy weekend in dc. fun summer trip home to florida. second wedding anniversary. seeing another one of my best friends get married. fourth anniversary at my job. denali joined our fam. awesome thanksgiving home in florida with everyone, including meeting my niece for the first time. nice relaxing christmas at home...all, in all, i can't complain that much. ;)
onto having a re-do of this year...i spent way too much time being emotional. haha, quite possibly an understatement, but true none the less. i got wrapped up in thinking i actually have control over all parts of my life. and i've finally realized i don't. there, i said it.
i mean, it shouldn't be that hard to get knocked up, right?! fast forward 21 months and still no bebe. seriously?! this waiting thing was not in my life plan. so for the last 21 months, my life has felt incomplete and filled with sadness. as i mentioned already, i've had some wonderful things happen this year. but definitely an underlying feeling of sadness. so, it's a new year and i've decided to (try my best to) have a more positive attitude. i've also decided that i want to blog about it a little. i mean, i'm not going to start posting stats about my egg reserve or the number of ovulation test sticks i've gone through or all the times i've had to put my legs in stirrups...right, i'll stop there.
i started this blog with the intent to keep my family and friends updated on my life since you are all so far away. i've missed blogging and know that it's been put on the back burner for the last year due to my mind being preoccupied.
so feel free to follow along (or not) on our journey..with the hope that someday i, too, will get to post that silly little facebook status.
don't get me wrong, i have some awesome memories from last year. an amazing trip to europe. celebrating a milestone birthday. seeing my college girls for a crazy weekend in dc. fun summer trip home to florida. second wedding anniversary. seeing another one of my best friends get married. fourth anniversary at my job. denali joined our fam. awesome thanksgiving home in florida with everyone, including meeting my niece for the first time. nice relaxing christmas at home...all, in all, i can't complain that much. ;)
onto having a re-do of this year...i spent way too much time being emotional. haha, quite possibly an understatement, but true none the less. i got wrapped up in thinking i actually have control over all parts of my life. and i've finally realized i don't. there, i said it.
i mean, it shouldn't be that hard to get knocked up, right?! fast forward 21 months and still no bebe. seriously?! this waiting thing was not in my life plan. so for the last 21 months, my life has felt incomplete and filled with sadness. as i mentioned already, i've had some wonderful things happen this year. but definitely an underlying feeling of sadness. so, it's a new year and i've decided to (try my best to) have a more positive attitude. i've also decided that i want to blog about it a little. i mean, i'm not going to start posting stats about my egg reserve or the number of ovulation test sticks i've gone through or all the times i've had to put my legs in stirrups...right, i'll stop there.
i started this blog with the intent to keep my family and friends updated on my life since you are all so far away. i've missed blogging and know that it's been put on the back burner for the last year due to my mind being preoccupied.
so feel free to follow along (or not) on our journey..with the hope that someday i, too, will get to post that silly little facebook status.
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