2 years..

well, not only were we taking a fertility treatment break, i guess i was taking a blogging break as well. oops. it's amazing that over 2 months have gone by since my last post. it's also hard to believe that it's already june. particularly hard to believe given the fall-like weather we've been having. grrr. the month of may was slightly deceiving since we actually had nice weather. true seattlites always say that july 5th is the start of summer out here, so here's to pants and sweatshirts for a few more weeks. blah.
unfortunately no new news on the baby front. i had actually been doing okay with letting go a little. then we hit the 2 year mark. no [known] fertility issues and yet here we are, 25 months into ttc (trying to conceive) without even the slightest hint of a positive pregnancy test. it's mind boggling (or as luke quotes, "mind bottling"). needless to say, it was a slightly emotional milestone; one that i most likely just thought too much about. but all the same, it sucks. i'm at a loss these days. i was randomly looking up something the other day which led me to fertility something or another which led me to statistics that quoted how you're considered "infertile" if you aren't successful after ttc for a year. boo. i also read percentages and it was something like 85% of couples get preggo within a year (um, not us) and 91% of couples get preggo within 3 years...hmm, hopefully us.
anyway, like most of my emotions, it's a rollercoaster and i'm feeling better now...
on a more positive note, luke and i celebrated our THIRD anniversary last month! it's amazing how quickly the last 3 years have gone by. i made a promise to him (and myself) to not let another year fly by, only focusing on a baby. it's a little saddening to realize that most of the year was spent focusing on that. definitely needing more balance in my life..


well, here's to a more positive year. 
pun intended.

iui #3 fail

well, it was worth a try (or 3)...another negative test. i actually had less of an emotional reaction this time around then the last 2 so that's good. i really have no idea what i will feel when i actually get a positive pregnancy test. ha!
not too much else to say at this moment, except that we're taking a break from fertility testing and treatment for a while. you know, just let nature take its course.
i just wanted to thank you for the emails, cards and thoughts/prayers you've been sending. it means a lot. :) i didn't intend for that to happen when i started blogging about infertility, i just wanted an outlet. but, it's much appreciated all the same.
so in the mean time, i'm going to try to focus more on the positive aspects of not having children (yet). like all the freedom we have, the traveling, the wild vegas nights..oh wait...
i still plan to update any thoughts i have on the topic and will of course, keep you all up to date (i know you check my blog for updates all the time). so in closing, a couple quotes from a little book on the shelf here next to me..."love strong and hope always."

iui #3

just to keep you updated...we went ahead and did a third iui last week. so.........will keep you posted if it's successful. third time's a charm perhaps??
here's to hoping!

iui #2 fail (thank God for best friends)

so it's another negative test and failed iui cycle. i guess it just goes to show that everything can look perfect but still not give you the result you were hoping for. we're debating taking a break from treatments or trying for the ol' third time's a charm...

despite the disappointing end to the weekend, i just want to say what great friends i have. unbeknownst to me, they put together a box that arrived on my doorstep last week. a book on gaining control of emotions (definitely will come in handy), a journal (in case there are things i dont know the whole world to know while blogging), a framed photo of the 5 of us at stacey's wedding last summer (although i actually look pregnant in the pic! maybe i should've only had one of the cupcakes that night...), candy (including swedish fish that were consumed in all of about 30 minutes), and sweet, funny and meaningful letters from each girl. i had to put the letter down until my eyes cleared up from crying (where is that book on emotions?!). it meant the world to me and reminded me that true friends do last a lifetime. i love these girls.

2.16.12

hard to believe it's been 4 years since i got to hear grandpa curt greet me in the voice i will never forget..."hello....erin!" missing him more as each year passes...


unforgettable

iui #2

well, we did our second iui this past wednesday. everything looked really good. i went in for an ultrasound the sunday prior to the iui and my RE (reproductive endocrinologist-"fertility doctor") joined. usually it's just the assistants who perform the ultrasound, but she happened to be in that day. she counted 5 good looking follicles (what they call the eggs before they mature and burst through). she seemed pretty excited that i had that many. so here's to being cautiously optimistic this time around...
i've always thought that when it happens, i'll somehow know right from the beginning. i know that's a silly thought because some women experience nothing through the first few months. and it's frustrating because sometimes i think i feel symptoms that are really just in my head. or maybe it's just gas. but that's a whole other topic.
we haven't decided if we're going to do a third iui (should we need to, of course...remember, cautiously optimistic..). i guess we'll just see when the time comes.
until then, i'm going to spend the next 10 days putting together the bed for our guest room i [stupidly] bought from ikea. only 8 gajillion pieces and pos directions.
anyway...hope everyone has a great week! 

iui #1 fail

well, iui #1 was a fail. boo. a couple people asked if i had heard back about the iui, but it's the same waiting game when you're trying naturally...basically i either get a positive pregnancy test or every girl's favorite friend comes to visit. so right on schedule, it was the latter. frustrating of course, but we've already moved on and decided to try another round of iui. it'll probably be scheduled in about a week and a half, so we'll keep you posted. :)
in the mean time, we survived the worst winter storm in years...6 inches of snow, ice, freezing rain, slush, another couple inches of snow, more ice and 4 days off for me! i painted, hung out with hubby and snuggled with my puppy. we only lost power for about 36 hours, but it definitely got cold in our house. we spent the night at my parents new washington house since they happened to purchase a generator. and now we're back to rain...looking forward to our next trip somewhere that sees the sun for more than a day at a time...
well, i hope everyone's new year is off to a good start and here's to lucky number 2!